"That's it! I can't stand it! I'm outta here!"
"I threw all his clothes on the front lawn!"
"You are always such a jerk!"
"I never want to see you again"
Whew! And the list goes on of things we said or did in the heat of the moment that we regretted in our relationships later.
No matter how much personal development you do, no matter how much inner peace you create....if you are still here on earth and you are still human, life will continue to life.
This means there will still be moments of pain, confusion, and triggers. Although this does get easier and happens less often as we work on ourselves.
But the most important factor is having the awareness that these moments of potential conflict will always continue to arise.
The next important thing to remember is that It's never the person or the circumstance that really matters.
Its how you respond.
That is what it's all about.
And until you learn the lesson this person or circumstance is presenting for you, and develop yourself in this particular area, the lesson will continue to reappear so that you can learn.
That is, after all, the purpose of life. To learn.
So always, always, always remember this:
Never EVER make a PERMANENT decision based on TEMPORARY emotions!
Please read that statement again.
One more time.
Good, because so often too many of us make impulsive, reactive, decisions based on the pain we are perceiving that we are in and then cause irreparable damage!
This might look like saying hurtful comments, bringing up the past, or even so far as to quitting a job, cutting someone off on the freeway, or possible ending a relationship because you feel hurt in the moment.
When emotions are heightened, the parts of our brain that regulate logic actually shut down! (This is especially true in teenagers, so cut them some slack when they seem completely irrational - because in that moment they are!) But I digress, the only way to teach others emotional management and mastery, is to first develop it in yourself.
This is where awareness is key.
1. Recognize when you have been triggered and are in a heightened negative emotional state.
2. Repeat that statement to yourself "Never EVER make a PERMANENT decision based on TEMPORARY emotions!"
3. Have protocols in place to manage and master your own emotional state. Then come back to the person or circumstance when you have achieved this calm. Only then can you use your other communication tools to have a productive conversation.
Remember when someone gets angry, this automatically produces a fight or flight response in the other person, because their subconscious perceives danger. We then become unable to have a productive conversation at this point. So always come to the table with you own emotions in check, and many more things will go a much better for you.
It's your life, make it count!
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